


Couldn’t have loved him better

by carxies



Series: I'm still only a human [4]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Break Up, Falling In Love, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-14
Updated: 2016-07-14
Packaged: 2018-07-24 00:29:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,103
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7486149
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/carxies/pseuds/carxies
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He recalls the first time he sat in the car and couldn’t take his eyes off the man by his side, couldn’t do anything but stare. Terushima laughed at something absolutely stupid; however Daichi could listen to it on repeat. Now, he’s annoyed by it, the sound creaks in his ears enough to give him headache, and it scares him to death, because Terushima is all he knows.</p><p> </p><p>Or, Daichi goes through falling out of love with Terushima  only to fall in love again with someone new.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Couldn’t have loved him better

It starts with a hand on steering wheel while the other rests on Daichi’s thigh. It feels heavier than it actually is, although the touch is as gentle as always, and Daichi is relieved when it disappears from his body to grip the gearshift. The lights stay behind them as the car continues moving, leaving them in darkness. A soft melody fills the silence they created, and while Daichi had always loved this song, it now only hurts his ears to the point he wants to cover them.

 

He recalls the first time he sat in the car and couldn’t take his eyes off the man by his side, couldn’t do anything but stare. Terushima laughed at something absolutely stupid; however Daichi could listen to it on repeat. Now, he’s annoyed by it, the sound creaks in his ears enough to give him headache, and it scares him to death, because Terushima is all he knows.

 

They finally stop in front of a familiar building and the engine stops along with the radio, but neither of them moves. It seems like this is all they do lately – sit in the car and drive, sit in the too small car and pretend nothing has changed. Terushima then leans closer and presses his lips against Daichi’s. And while Daichi had always loved the simple touch, it now feels somehow wrong and leaves a bitter taste in his mouth for the rest of the night.

 

 

It starts with a hand on his thigh that feels heavier than it actually is - or at least that’s how Daichi remembers it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

The bar is strangely quiet at this hour, only other three people hanging around. Daichi climbs on the bar stool and sets his elbows on the counter, his hands burying in his hair.

 

 

“A rough day?” the bartender asks and observes Daichi carefully as he dries a shot glass, raising an eyebrow with his question.

 

“Kinda,” Daichi replies and orders his drink. The conversion between them dies there and he moves to clean the tables while Daichi drowns in self pity and cheap alcohol. He fails to notice the familiar silver haired man sitting few feet away.

 

 

 

 

When he comes back, Terushima is wide awake, sitting with his legs crossed on the sofa as he reads some book he’s definitely told Daichi about. The steps Daichi makes are soft, he almost hopes they go unnoticed by the man in the living room. However, Terushima hears him and looks up at him with a cheerful smile, closing the book and placing it aside.

 

“You’re home early?”

“Not really, you’re just awake,” Daichi speaks quietly and takes a seat beside him.

 

“Doesn’t matter,” Terushima whispers and cuddles to him. Daichi’s skin burns everywhere where it is touching Terushima’s. “I got more money this month, so guess what.”

“What?”

“More money for the jar.”

 

Daichi looks at the jar half full of money sitting on the shelf and frowns at the tiny sticker with Terushima’s handwriting on it. He remembers it like it was yesterday when Terushima announced the idea to Daichi, victorious grin on his handsome face. He sat on Daichi’s lap while he scribbled the words ‘ _for our dreams’_ on the piece of paper and then glued it on the jar, so pleased with himself Daichi had to laugh. They threw the first money inside together, in each other’s arms. Terushima promised he would work even harder now, _for them_ , and Daichi couldn’t love the man more in that moment.

 

They had great plans – a house with a garden big enough for a dog and parties with friends. They dreamed of good jobs so they could travel and see all the places there were to see, hand in hand.

 

They had great plans and huge dreams, but now Daichi comes home only when Terushima is long asleep and keeps his distance in the flat that’s no longer big enough for the both of them. 

 

Daichi gets up and makes his way towards the shelf and throws a single coin in the jar, wiping the tears covering his face before Terushima can see them.

 

 

 

 

He’s forgotten the reason they’re in the middle of a fight. He’s sure it started with something small and unimportant, probably Daichi not doing the dishes or using too much toothpaste. It sure started with something small and unimportant, but now Terushima is crying and shouting from the top of his lungs and Daichi cannot stop the hate spitting from his mouth.

 

He hates this. He hates that he’s almost relieved to see Terushima is hurt as well as he is, though the blame for all the pain settles on his shoulders. He rushes out of the flat before he can hurt Terushima more, before he can _actually hurt him,_ tears making his vision blurry. He desperately wishes his heart to crave to come back and make up, however that doesn’t happen.

 

That day, he meets him again. The man with silver hair and amazing smile. He meets him in the same bar and they talk until Daichi feels like they’ve discussed the whole universe and it’s still not enough. His laugh is the sweetest melody for Daichi’s ears and his heart aches when they part ways with each other’s numbers saved in their phones.

 

 

 

 

After weeks, Daichi finally stops blaming himself and he does what’s best for the both of them -sets them both free.

 

 

 Daichi comes to the realization that he cannot control everything. He can’t control the weather, he can’t control the change between day and night, and he can’t control his heart. He still loves Terushima – he just isn’t in love with him anymore. It hurts, but it’s that simple, in the end. It’s no one’s fault - Terushima couldn’t have loved him better. He couldn’t have been more caring and supportive boyfriend that he has been, he couldn’t have given Daichi anything more than he has. He couldn’t have given Daichi better years than he did.

 

 

 

 

 

Daichi falls. He falls so fast and so hard he wishes he had a parachute, but no parachute could protect him from falling for Suga. It comes naturally, step by step, until he stops trying to stop whatever is happening. He still checks his phone sometime to see if Terushima has contacted him and the blond man still crosses his mind sometimes. Perhaps they were always meant to lead each other to another person. When he catches Terushima in the university by a chance, he sees him beside another man and they laugh together, holding hands under the table, and Daichi is sure of that statement.

**Author's Note:**

> I just needed to write something about falling out of love because that's some scary shit


End file.
